SUMMARY: ER/Samka; Set
at the end of Season 10 (SPOILERS). Different take on the finale.
SONG CREDITS: "The Red
Strokes" by Garth Brooks.
DISCLAIMER: These characters are not mine.
~For my friend, Jonnu~
Golden wisps of light graze the quiet street, slowly fading away
as the sun is tucked away for the night. Delicate shades of pink and
purple bid farewell to the scattered clouds of the sky, replaced by
darkness and pale moonlight. Breezes turn to gusts, the hiss of the
wind's call signaling the coming of rain. All the beauty of the day is
gone, as the clouds abandon cotton white molds for grey ones. Thunder
becomes the song of the evening, thrashing the city with it's harsh
beat as the storm rolls in. Heavy raindrops sprinkle over any
attainable surface, merging with the colors of the cars lining the
roadside.
Inside one of them, a young woman sits rigid...frozen to the outcome of
nature's wrath. A deaf ear has turned onto the sharp crackles; a blind
eye to the raging water beads slapping her current shelter with an
unyielding force. Cold, clammy hands squeeze the steering wheel in a
death grip, face focussed on the view before her; all she sees are the
pictures in her mind. For not lost in thought, if her mind would only
betray her, she might be surprised to find how alike the vast changes
of the weather are to her tumultuous life. Samantha Taggart had once
been happy here, and it took only a few short days for it all to
change...
Luka. She'd lost Luka. While their relationship wasn't without faults,
or bumps along the way, it was the one time in her life that she'd felt
at peace. Looking back on their brief time together, Sam doesn't see
what went wrong at the start...her once contented heart revels in the
images of being held by him...touched by him. Tears fall in streams as
the memories of bliss and laughter and the simple joy of just having
him at her side, smiling and saying her name like she was something to
be adored grace her softly, telling her to be satisfied with what
they'd had. But she isn't so sure that's possible...not to this woman
turned girl who constantly prayed that the next time the phone rang it
would be him. No. Not this child who dreamt of being carried away by
him and protected from that asshole that has once again taken up
residence in her home...
Steve. She hated him. She loathed the mere thought of coming home
everyday to his smug face. That loser knew the power he had over
her...where he could no longer control her every move, she was still a
victim to his mind games. Around him, she became weak and frail and
small and stupid. She became fifteen again. The pain she endured each
day was sure to swallow her whole...the confusion and despair of her
situation...not knowing what on earth to do. For, there wasn't only
herself to think about - but her son as well. Alex didn't deserve any
of this. Sure, Steve had resumed the role of 'Dad' for the time being,
and the kid was most definitely not immune to his charms, but it
wouldn't be long before the real Steve came out to play. And maybe it
was just her imagination, but that twinkle in his eye seemed to be
reserved for Luka. Only Luka...
It always came back to Luka. How the hell was she supposed to move on
when he had all but tattooed himself onto her life...her heart? Had he
moved on? It's not like they ever talked anymore. She would never know.
It had only taken him three days to sleep with someone else when she
suggested they keep their relationship casual, Sam thought bitterly...
"Sam?"
Three days! It had been weeks since he rejected her...God. She couldn't
handle this...
"Sam!!"
Oh, yeah. She was definitely losing it. Going crazy, yes. If she
wasn't, she would swear that she heard his voice at this very
moment...calling out to her...
"SAM!!!"
Something clutches down on her arm, startling her and snapping her back
to reality. To him, Sam finds. To Luka. Standing there, perched across
the passenger seat of her car, looking at her with so much worry she
almost has to bite back a smile. What was he doing here? Where was she?
Sam's features contort in the chaos of the moment, her head searching
her surroundings to identify the place she unconsciously drove herself
to. But even that isn't any help to her, as she feels she's just woken
from a distant dream. When her eyes finally turn back to his, she
expects to find amusement there, but there isn't any. Luka actually
looks...scared.
"Wha - how - where -" Sam stutters, closing her eyes, giving her head a
slight shake.
"You're outside my apartment building, Sam. You didn't know that?"
"No...I...don't remember. I was um...upset," she explains a little
hazily, licking her lips. "I dropped Alex off at Austin's. I was just
driving..."
"And you ended up here," Luka states simply, inquiring her to continue.
"Apparently so..." Returning her gaze to the scene outside her
windshield, she adds, "I was thinking...I didn't want to go home...and
I...I was trying to think of the last place I felt safe..."
Taken aback by the combination of her powerful confession and the
tender look she gave him to punctuate it, Luka painfully swallows the
lump in his throat. His first instinct says to touch her face, but he
forces himself to ignore the impulse and instead takes hold of her
hand. Chills ripple through him as he captures it, the shock of cold
instead of warmth merely adding to his concern for this woman before
him...this woman that once belonged to him. Looking closer, he sees
that she's lost weight. Too much weight. The color and the glow in her
skin have vanished...cheeks stained from countless tears...eyes
irritated and pink, revealing all the things she had managed to keep
hidden before. The spirited Sam he'd known was broken, and was now
reaching out to him for whatever help he could give.
"Why don't you come upstairs with me? I'll make some coffee. It'll warm
you up."
"I'm not cold," Sam tells him, honestly. She was numb to it.
"You're shivering, Sam," Luka insists, his tone suggesting 'no' wasn't
an option. "And you can't drive in this rain. Come on."
====================
A few minutes later, Sam flops down on the familiar leather sofa in
Luka's apartment. A little too familiar, she thinks, her mind already
traveling the road back to the first night they'd made love. That night
had been more special to her than any other before...what she
experienced with Luka was a feeling like no other. When it was over,
Sam had known that she had never really been made love to before. Luka
was her first in that respect. With him, she felt more than
wanted...she felt needed. Desperately needed.
Shaking her head, she pushes a heavy sigh past her lips, twisting her
head back toward the kitchen. "Need any help?"
"No," Luka replies, raising his voice so she can hear him. "Do you want
coffee or hot chocolate?"
"Neither," Sam urges. "I'd really just like a beer."
Knowing it was pointless to argue with her, Luka closes the open
cabinet and goes to the refrigerator. Grabbing two beers, he makes his
way toward the living room, taking a blanket out of the hall closet on
the way.
"Here," Luka extends the beer to her. Once she takes it, she mutters
her thanks, and takes a sip. Placing his own bottle down, he unfolds
the blanket and drapes it over her shoulders. "How's that?"
"Fine," Sam shrugs. "I told you I wasn't cold, but if it makes you
happy..."
"Well, your body suggests otherwise. Your hands are cold as ice."
They share an intense look for a moment, both daring the other to say
something else. Sam breaks the contact a moment later, turning her face
to the window and hugging her knees to her chest. Luka sighs, sitting
down, both on opposite sides of the sofa. Taking a drink of his beer,
he lowers the bottle and stares ahead at the wall. Slowly, he flicks
his eyes to her, taking in her current state. What had brought her
here? What had that bastard done to her?
"I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to add to your frustration."
"You didn't do anything wrong, Luka," she speaks softly, still not
looking at him. "It's just me. It's all me...and I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry, Sam," he says gently, stroking her arm.
"Just tell me what's doing this to you. Help me understand."
"I can't do that, Luka. I've never been able to make anyone understand.
Hell," she chuckles. "I've never fully understood it myself."
Taking a shot at the obvious, Luka asks, "Is this about Steve?"
Luka takes Sam's silence as a 'yes' and leaves her to her thoughts.
"You know what I was thinking about in that car, Luka?"
"Well," he begins, clearing his throat. "You said that you were
thinking of the last place you felt safe..."
Turning her body toward him, she whispers, "You know when that was?"
Luka shakes his head.
"It was that weekend we went camping for Alex's birthday," Luka can see
the tears glistening in her eyes as Sam recalls a time he himself
regards as treasured. "The three of us together...I just kept thinking
to myself how much like a family we were...for a little while there, I
thought we were one...and that was all I ever wanted for Alex."
"I wanted it, too, Sam."
Something changes in her eyes, and she straightens a little. "Did you?"
"Yes," Luka says emphatically, alarmed by the anger he sees in her.
"Is that why you handed us back to Steve? Is that why you backed off?"
"I backed off because the guy came to me and said that you and Alex
belonged with him. That you were a family," Luka explains, a bite in
his own words.
"A family?!"
"Yes! Steve is Alex's father. I thought I was doing the right thing. I
know what it's like to lose a family, Sam."
"Luka, please! Don't compare yourself to some jackass that shows up
once or twice a year and has the nerve to call himself a father. Alex
and I didn't die - he left us! He comes back, he leaves, he comes back,
he leaves. It's amusement for him. It's a joke. And it's going to ruin
Alex's life - just like it's ruined MINE!"
"Then why do you let him stay?"
"I don't know," Sam answers, calming down some as she searches for an
answer to a question she's never been able to handle before. "Sometimes
I think it's because of Alex. Like I owe it to him to give Steve
another chance...but it's hurting him...even though he doesn't know it
yet, it's hurting him. And it's hurting me, too, Luka. So much. I think
it hurts just to breathe sometimes." Running a hand through her hair,
she sighs. "And the worst part is, I know it's my fault. I picked him."
Pausing a moment, she goes on. "I wonder about myself sometimes,
too...how I can despise someone so much that's a part of Alex? But I
do...and I wish he would just go away. Never come back...because until
that happens, we can never stay anywhere for long. We always have to
leave...just like we have to now."
"Running away isn't the answer, Sam," Luka cuts in, trying to hide the
fear in his voice.
"Well, you would know about that, wouldn't you, Luka? Honestly, all I'd
be doing is following your example!" Standing up abruptly, she flings
off the blanket and walks around the couch. Luka stands and opens his
mouth to challenge her, but Sam speaks before he can. "You know, for a
long time I thought you really cared - more than anyone ever did
before. I thought you were going to SAVE ME!" Sam laughs madly,
throwing her arms out to her sides violently, "How CRAZY is
that?!" A tiny smile plays on her lips, and she adds, "You know what I
think now? I think you were itching for Steve to
come along - so you could be relieved of the burden!"
"HEY!" Luka marches over to Sam, and takes hold of her upper arms,
yanking her closer to him. "Don't you accuse me of not caring! Do you
think it was EASY for me to stop seeing you? To stop seeing Alex? You
think it's EASY for me to see you at work and not be able to tell you
how much I miss you? To have to sit there and watch you with him at
that graduation? I see you EVERYWHERE, Sam! You HAUNT me!"
Stopping, he shakes his head as if in utter disbelief that she could
think such nonsense. "I didn't
care? You damned well know I did!"
"I know," Sam whispers, shaky from his passionate outburst. "I
know you do...did, Luka. I'm
sorry. I'm sorry..."
"DO, Sam," Luka mends, framing her face with his hands. "I still
do."
Eyes darkened with a silent plea - a plea to believe that...if only
that - stare down at her, penetrating her soul, begging her to see the
truth in what he'd said. There was no need for it, though. Luka had
never lied to her. For that reason alone, she knew what she had to do.
No matter how much it hurt.
Raising her long, slender fingers to his hands, she fans them out
against his. "I know you do. But..." Easing his hands away from her
face, she continues, "I don't deserve you, Luka. And you don't deserve
any of this."
"What?" Luka snaps more harshly than intended, his hands capturing her
wrists so she can't get away. "Steve?"
"Of course, Steve," Sam rolls her eyes, trying to pull away.
"Sam, if you really want the guy gone - give me five minutes with him,
okay? You won't have to deal with him anymore."
"You really think it's that simple?" Sam chuckles. "Steve left for a
few days. When he comes back, he's going to manage my apartment
building. Yeah, that's right. The bastard wants us to help him paint!
He's insane, Luka, and I'm not going to stand for it! I've got to get
Alex out of here! If I don't, God only knows what will happen. He's
already keeping him out of school and getting high when he's watching
him. This is supposed to be MY SON's influence? What a damned joke!"
"You don't have to leave to keep him away, Sam. There are other ways."
"Like what?"
"Like a restraining order," Luka throws out the first idea that comes
to his head, trying to calm her down.
"Yeah, I'll consider it," Sam says sarcastically, freeing herself of
his arms, heading towards the door.
"Move in with me," Luka calls after her, causing her to freeze.
Turning slowly on her heel, Sam crosses her arms over her chest,
looking at him like he's lost his marbles. "What did you say?"
Stepping closer to her, Luka repeats himself. "Move in with me."
"You're really crazy, you know that? I've got to give you credit for
that one, though. Funny how things like that just pop into your head."
"I'm being serious, Sam. I want you and Alex to move in with me. I was
thinking about asking you before all this happened, but...I don't know,
I wasn't sure if it was too fast."
"But now you think it's a good idea?"
"Yes, I do."
"Now that you're in a position of having to say things you wouldn't
normally say? Desperate things?"
"Sam, it isn't like that, I -"
"You're in the mood to be charitable, then?"
"Dammit, Sam! Why do you always have to do this? I'm trying to tell you
how I feel and you're -"
"I know, Luka," Sam nods, feeling a warm tear against her cheek.
Brushing the hair off of his forehead, she whispers. "I wanted you,
too. I wanted you...so much."
Feeling a bit hypnotized by this other undiscovered layer of Sam, Luka
stands still for a moment. He's there just long enough for her to get
the door open an inch, then he's behind her. One hand lands on her arm,
yanking her one step back and around to face him, the other slamming
the door shut. Flattening his palms on either side of her head against
the door, he leans in close so their breaths mingle and
looks her straight in the eye. "I love you. I love you in a way that I
never thought myself possible of again. And I don't want to lose you."
Unflinching at the lack of enthusiasm he sees in reaction, he remains
steady, using one hand to tuck a wayward curl behind her ear. "Judging
by what you said earlier, I suspect you might be having some doubts
right about now." Tracing the curve of her cheek with his thumb, moving
to her jaw line, then her bottom lip, he goes on. "If you never
believed a thing I've said to you before...tonight or any other
night...believe this. Believe that I love you. And I'm not willing to
let you go. Not again. Not without a fight."
Sam's heart was pounding so fiercely against her chest, she
was sure Luka could hear it...feel it. She could barely
breathe.."Really?"
Clearly, that was not the reply he was hoping for, Sam thought as she
witnessed a painful twitch furrow his brow. "Really," he attempts to
mask his sorrow with a half-hearted chuckle.
"I -" Sam scurries to come up with the right words. Chewing on her lip,
she glances around the apartment quickly, then returns to his eyes.
"These colors have to go."
"Huh?" Luka looks genuinely confused, and Sam can't stifle her
laughter. "What's funny?"
"You are," she teases, moving further into the apartment, pointing
toward the walls. "Does the idea of losing these fabulous bachelor
colors appall you that much?"
Placing a hand on his hip, Luka smirks, shaking his head at this
unique, yet very Sam, way of dealing with his biddings. She was trying
to be funny, to make herself appear more cool and collected than she
really was. "Just don't do anything too crazy."
"Liiiiiike?" Sam asks, prolonging the simple word as she moves to stand
before him again.
"Like purple pocadots?"
Smiling brightly, Sam places her hands on Luka's chest. "Actually I was
thinking more on the lines of saying
something crazy..."
"Like what?" Luka asks sweetly, already knowing the answer...already
seeing it in her eyes.
"Like...I love you, too?"
"That's not so crazy," Luka whispers, touching his lips to hers.
"No?"
"No..." he husks, diving for her mouth once more, this time crushing as
they meet.
Moonlight on canvas,
midnight and wine
Two shadows starting to softly combine
The picture they're painting
Is one of the heart
And to those who have seen it
It's a true work of art
Feverish moans riddle their throats
amidst these torrid moments of steamy kisses, urgency taking them
willing prisoners, driving them from sweet pecks to french tangles that
beg for more...much, much more. Separation has made them pine, yearn
for reunion. Now that it's here, it's a mindless dance they do, tongues
offering seductive caresses, soon leaving them no choice but to pull
apart.
Somewhere along the way, though both oblivious, they ended up against
the wall. Evidently, he'd practiced no self control what-so-ever, Luka
concluded as he looked at Sam, observing the sight of his hand covering
her breast, the other grasping the hem of her shirt. His body was
throbbing with the need to have her, and it looked as though she was in
much the same condition. Still, he felt the need to ask.
Leaning down, he drops a kiss onto the side of her throat, the hand
holding her shirt
skimming beneath it and around to the small of her back, stroking it
lightly. Nuzzling his nose to hers, he whispers, "Stay with me..."
Oh, the red
strokes
Passions uncaged
Thundering moments of tenderness rage
Oh, the red strokes
Tempered and strong (Fearlessly drawn)
Burning the night like the dawn
Sam doesn't answer Luka verbally, instead pushing up on her toes,
throwing her arms around his neck and giving him a kiss that offered no
doubts to an affirmative. It was a mix of tenderness and hunger,
laced with want and need and love. Luka's response was instantaneous:
pressing her further into the wall, he bends his knees, cupping the
backs of her thighs with his hands and hoisting her up against him.
Sam's ankles hook around his upper torso, moving her kisses to his neck.
Blindly, Luka stumbles to get them into the bedroom, distracted by her
bewitching assault, his own body failing to comply with his brain's
warnings to get them somewhere safe before returning it. Fortunate for
both, when he does find himself stumbling, it's at the foot of the bed.
Their abrupt loss of contact provides Luka with the option of snatching
her back to him again, or the more pleasurable route of taking them a
step closer to their ultimate goal. Taking a liking to the latter
without a second thought, Luka's eyes devour the sight of her sprawled
out on his bed before him, his knees hitting the edge of the mattress
as he gently removes her shoes, a foot at a time, kissing each one
before setting them back down against the bedding.
Discarding his own shoes, he climbs onto the bed, lying on his side
against her. Smiling adoringly at her, his faces hovers over hers, his
fingers threading into the mass of blonde curls spilling from her head
to the pillow beneath her. There they linger, his hand adding pressure
at the back of her head, urging her to meet him in the middle. Mouths
open wide, tongues sliding against each other, lips meshing and
creating sensations only the other could stir within them. Flames roar
between them, banking their eyes and soaring throughout their veins,
creating a moment of intensity like never before.
Steam on the
window, salt in a kiss
Two hearts have never pounded like this
Inspired by a vision
That they can't command
Erasing the borders
With each brush of a hand
Sam's impatient hands demand the right to touch skin, grabbing the
barrier of Luka's shirt and forcing it up, watching it fly away from
his body when at last he pulls it over his head. Daring and overwhelmed
with desire, her hands roam down his chest to his belt buckle, but to
her surprise, he stops her. Opening her mouth in objection, she can
only expel a breath, as he takes that moment to unbutton her shirt,
easing it off her arms and shoving it away and onto the floor.
Expecting a kiss, Sam is further fooled as Luka crooks one arm to rest
above her head, the other fondling a breast. Punishing her bottom lip
with her teeth, her body arches like a bow, her blood boiling hot and
embedding an ache inside of her that only gained strength as his lips,
tongue, teeth and fingers massaged her sensitive skin.
Dizzy and flying somewhere near cloud nine, Sam barely takes notice to
the loss of his mouth on her breasts, especially since he merely draws
an invisible line down her abdomen with his tongue, halting at the
waistband of her jeans. Unfastening them, Luka takes a snail pace in
removing them, making it a point to tease each area of exposed skin as
he does. The second he returns to her face, Sam takes over, kissing him
with all the love and lust she feels for him, pulling him to her and
rolling him onto his back.
Oh, the red strokes
Passions uncaged
Thundering moments of tenderness rage
Oh, the red strokes
Tempered and strong (Fearlessly drawn)
Burning the night like the dawn
Sitting atop him, her eyes find his in the darkness, and she can see he
is as undone as she, if not more so. Compelled by the need to give him
the same pleasure he has given her, Sam uses much the same methods to
make him shatter. When she completed the journey to his belt, she
unbuckles it, exposing the area she knew would arouse him the most.
Nipping at his defined pelvic bone, her hands kneed his hips as she
does, and the sounds he begins to make produces a cheeky smile from
her.
Neither could stand it much longer. Luka was in no condition to allow
her to tease him further, and he lets her know it by grasping her
shoulders, yanking her up and flipping her onto her back. Planting hot
kisses from her mouth to her stomach, he removes her panties, his lips
grazing her skin as he pulls them off, and again as he makes his way
back up. The tiny freckle stamped on her inner thigh gets special
attention as always, and that's the last straw for Sam.
Oh, the red strokes
Passions uncaged
Thundering moments of tenderness rage
Oh, the red strokes
Tempered and strong (Fearlessly drawn)
Burning the night like the dawn
Something that sounds a lot like 'now' hoarsely escapes her throat, and
Luka is up against her, their mouths fused together, her toes assisting
him in removing all that remained between them. Perching himself up on
his arms, the heat from her legs scorches his back as they wrap around
him. Refraining from the immediate urge to find release, Luka joins
them, guiding them into a rhythm at a slow, yet sensual pace. Dots of
sweat coat his body, a production of this union and holding back. He
had never wanted her more...he had never wanted anyone more.
Oh, the blues will
be blue and the jealousies green
But when love picks its shade it demands to be seen
Sam had never wanted anymore more. There was something so amazing, so
profound about this connection. Sometimes it made her want to weep,
never experiencing anything so life-altering. So riveting. The sound of
her broken moan fills the room, mingling with his heavy breaths as he
sharpens his motions and steadily quickens the movements of his hips.
Catching and following him, Sam's body reaches out to him, drugged by
some unexplainable need to be a part of him forever.
Oh, the red strokes
Passions uncaged
Thundering moments of tenderness rage
Oh, the red strokes
Tempered and strong (Fearlessly drawn)
Burning the night like the dawn
Overtaken, wild with the passions only he could invoke, Sam tosses her
head on the pillow, scraping her nails over his broad back, digging her
fingertips into his shoulders as he drives them closer and closer to
ecstasy. Latching onto him, she cries out his name on a moan, hearing
her own groaned in return. When the conscious world appears and she's
returned to earth, Sam finds herself covered by her lover.
Luka's shining eyes beat down on her, kissing her where he no longer
has the energy to. A trembling hand lifts to her forehead, wiping away
the few strands of dampened hair there and the sweat glazing it.
Momentarily, his gaze drops to her hand dropped weakly against the
pillow. Looking back at her, he slides the hand at her face to it,
entwining their fingers, holding it as tight as he possibly can. Sam
nuzzles his cheek, sighing as her lips brush it, watching through a
half-lidded gaze as Luka closes his eyes against the touch. Shifting
his weight off of her, he lays his head against her chest, utterly
spent, yet content with the light stroking of her fingers in his hair.
Breathing fades from sharp to almost silent, sleep claiming them within
moments. Tonight would be a first for both. Since they'd been apart,
nightmares and tears for fears had plagued their sleep, robbing them of
the peace they could only find with each other. Luka would wake to the
feel of her long, silky hair against his chest...Sam would come to,
hearing the steady rhythm of his heart to her ear. Comforting, yet so
simple things...things that both slowly died without. Tomorrow was full
of questions and uncertainties, but the one thing that truly mattered
would hold them together...love. And that was always worth taking
chances...
Steam
on the window, salt in a kiss
Two hearts have never pounded like this
~the
end~
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